Still looking for that village?

Helena Metcalfe
Jan 19
4 min read

Practical steps to feel supported in January and beyond.

` As you read this I can assume it is a grey, grim and gruelling outside as it is with you. January is hard isn’t it?! This is why this week I’m trying to tackle this by combatting the drizzle and dreariness with some simple, practical, achievable steps where I have done all the thinking so you can sit back and absorb. Grab a cup of something hot, a hot water bottle, a snack, and let’s dig in…

1. SELF BELIEF for starters

Before you can ask for support, you HAVE to believe you’re allowed to. Easy for me to say, I know. But in the name of everything feeling a little more accessible and easy this month, here’s 1 simple way to start this rethink reset:

If you’re not quite there yet, try this coaching prompt and be in the mindset of someone who does believe:

“If I wholly believed I deserved support, what would I ask for first?”

Make a list as long as you like as that person, who might well end up being future you.

2. MIND THE GAP next..

What areas of life are you burning out in? Where do you push through when you really need backup? I know January can feel like a total uphill struggle, so if your answer is ‘every area!’ start smaller, like ‘which parts of your day are your real crunch points?’

Common gaps I see with my clients are:

Practical support (childcare swaps, help with pickups)
Emotional support (someone to listen without fixing or judging)
Connection (friendship, community, being supported when not ‘at your best’)
Time (space to rest, breathe, think)

Pick one area where you’d like to shorten the gap between where you are and where you ideally would like to be - and start there. This will often be the area that can have a powerful ripple effect into many others.

3. MICRO MOMENTS for MICRO ASKS

You don’t need to start with huge requests. Start as small as you can:

“Could you bring milk when you come over?”
“Can we swap school pickups this week?”
“Can you check in on me Thursday? I have a big day planned”

Confidence and conviction grows in the micro requests, and soon you’ll flex the muscle for the bigger things.

4. YOUR VILLAGE is UNIQUELY YOURS

Your village might be:

Voice noting your best friend
A weekly meal kit or takeaway night
A chat with a Mum at the school gates who you don’t put on a front for
A regular cleaner
Your work parents network
Early nights
Cancelling plans or learning to say no
Taking up a new hobby or something just for you

If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, we all deserve a village - although no two villages will ever look the same. Start to build your own unique, unconventional one that works exactly just for you.

5. BE SEEN

One of the biggest blocks for mums is vulnerability and it can feel really scary to allow people to fully see you as you are - messy, unfiltered, flawed - and completely human!

Try a simple reflection exercise:

“What part of my load have I been hiding from others because it feels like failure?”

Then choose a safe person and share just one honest sentence about it.

The extra magic that happens here is you will unlock permission in that other person to share something weighing heavy on them too. This is the ‘village ripple effect’ that is far reaching and powerful!

6. PUT SUPPORT AT THE TOP

When you set your intentions for the year, don’t just ask:

“What do I want to achieve?” ask: “Who or what do I need beside me to make this possible?”

Choose your team, resources and support wisely. This might involve letting go of those people, habits or standards that are just not serving you anymore. What feels initially like sacrifice and compromise will give you the freedom to move forward like you have never done before.

Your Village is out there - time to begin the build

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo sport and we were never meant to carry the practical, mental and emotional load alone.

What I want for your 2026 is that it doesn't turn into more disciplined, more productive, more superhuman year for you, but it allows space for:

A more supported you
A more connected you
A more accepted, seen and encouraged you
..that will in turn allow the big changes you want to see in life take place

Your village is out there - some of it you’ll find, some of it you’ll build from scratch. Step by step, ask by ask, belief by belief, you will start to feel the weight shift - I promise, I have lived it! Reach out anytime if you are ready for coaching to be part of your village.