What you waiting for?
A few weeks ago, my coach asked me a question that stopped me in my tracks:
"Do you need permission to stop doing that?"
I'd been ploughing on with an activity in my business that drained my energy and wasn't giving me results. And before that moment I hadn't even considered letting it go. As soon as she asked me the question a weight lifted - ofc I can stop. I'm my own boss! I make the decisions. Surely this is a perk of being a solo business owner?! But all I'd needed was this permission slip from her - when actualy I'd been holding it the whole time.
Putting the mission in permission
Lately I've been doing a lot of deep client work on values which I LOVE: we go back to what drives them, what sits at the core of who they are and how this affects pretty much every way they show up in the world. Those values become a compass for every decision or wobble the client has and we mine them for all the support we can. ( In short, take some time to do your values, it’s well worth it! You can download your own handy tool for this).
One client was in a situation that felt deeply uncomfortable, and when we dug into why, it came down to this: it didn't align with her values. So we asked, what permission do you need to do something about it? She realised, as I had, that the answer was “ Me. I have a choice in how I respond.”
I hear the same thing in conversations with friends and other mums who feel stuck, overwhelmed and ready for change at work. It often feels like there are only two options: stick with what you've got, or leave it all behind. What you've got might be familiar, flexible, or simply enough to keep things rolling on and sometimes that is genuinely okay. The question is whether it's okay for you.
So maybe the permission you need is:
Permission to be okay with your job as it is, without the nagging sense that you should want more.
Permission to take the big leap, even though it will feel uncomfortable and unfamiliar, and will take effort you may not have right now.
Permission to wait, knowing that what's meant for you won't pass you by, and trusting that when the time is right, you'll be the one to make it happen.
That last one takes a whole lot of self-belief (one of the pillars in my coaching program) with a side mantra of ‘trust, trust, trust’ to know the right things will come, and that you'll be the catalyst when they do. Get in touch if you’re in need of some self belief bolstering!
The noise that gets in the way
I - we - overwhelmed mums all over the shop - waste a lot of time waiting for permission - often as we’ve lost touch with what we really need and want. I notice this pattern time and time again as the biggest blocker of them all.
Instead, we hear the noise:
You should. You shouldn't. A good mum would. A good employee wouldn't. A good friend never would do...
Or the old scripts: I was always told this was the right way. I've always believed this.
This is deep conditioning (not the enjoyable hair kind), and it can keep us on autopilot in our decision-making for years, sometimes decades. But when it sits alongside a growing sense of restlessness, stickiness, overwhelm or indecision - or just a niggly knowing that something isn't right - that's often the moment you have to be the one to unlock your own permission.
So, what permission slip are you waiting for? And what if you just took it in full, today?
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